Barukh ata Adonay, Eloheinu, melekh ha’olam, asher kid’shanu b’mitzvotav v’tzivanu al sfirat ha-omer.
Blessed are You, Adonay our God, ruler of the universe, who makes us holy with mitzvot and gives us this opportunity to count the Omer.
Today is day twenty which is two weeks and six days of the Omer. Hayom yom esrim she hem shtey shavuot ve shisha yammim laOmer.
Today is Yesod be Tiferet, sexuality within beauty, intimacy within loveliness.
It’s pretty, spring is. To see two birds flying together, or two lovers walking hand in hand – it’s really nice to see and it brings out an answering yearning in our hearts. It is wonderful to observe and participate, and there is nothing as lovely as being in love. It has its commensurate ugliness though. The problem with Yesod is all your secrets are involved. That secret heartache? That old issue? That time, when you…those are all things that emerge in relationships, like old bits of junk that were buried under the snow when winter came. (Oh that old thing? I was wondering where it had gone…wow it’s a mess, all rusted and broken and ugly.) It’s good, because it allows for clean-up, but it isn’t pretty.
This is where there is a choice. One can cover up that nastiness, pretending it was never there. “Mess, what mess? There was never any mess. I just prefer that tarp in that particular spot.” That does make it look prettier right away but basically, it’s a denial of Yesod. If I want intimacy, I need to be willing to see the ugliness, acknowledge it, deal with it and clean it up.
Today, I will be willing to look at the messy parts of my heart. I know that it will enhance intimacy – and thus the beauty of my relationships.