Omer – Day 36
Barukh ata Adonay, Eloheynu Melekh ha-olam, asher kid’shanu b’mitzvotav v’zivanu al s’firat haOmer.
Blessed be the Eternal God, Ruler of the universe, who makes us holy through Mitzvot and has commanded us to count the Omer.
Hayom yom shloshim ve shesh laOmer, shehem hamisha shavuot ve yom ehad laOmer.
Today is day thirty six of the Omer, which is five weeks and one day of the Omer.
khesed be yesod – kindness within intimacy; love within lust
We saw “Hair” yesterday. There was this song. (OK, so my belief system is part-Jewish, part-novel, part-musical…) “How can people be so heartless? How can people be so cruel? Easy to be hard. Easy to be cold. How can peole have no feelings? How can they ignore their friends? Easy to be proud. Easy to say no.” Yeah! How can they? Not me! I’d never. Until someone points out that I was – that I treated casually or carelessly something that was important to them and they can only assume that people who do that hate them so clearly… And that hadn’t occured to me! I was thinking of the time that someone said this thing which was really hurtful and I got super-upset and only people who really hate someone else (or are generally nasty) would do that so clearly…And that person was thinking about the one who was too busy to hang out and spend good time together and this was obviously because they weren’t actually friends and hated each other, no other reason so clearly…
Nothing is clear in the yesod week. Yesod means intimate. It also means private or secret. (And yes, someone made the joke about ‘privates’ already, you don’t have to.) In relationships, when I try to be the most loving me I can possibly be, I am still often so very wrong. I still hurt people and act like the nasty friends in the song. Here, kindness comes with a great deal of thinking – of trying to figure out what the other person wants or will need. Sometimes it’s trivial. Sometimes – hard to the point of impossible. It’s a worthwhile task, though for us to keep trying to approximate actual caring and love until we are no longer casually stepping on everyone’s toes in steel-tipped construction boots.
Today, I will try to give those I love what they want, rather than what I do.