Counting the Omer – Day 4
Barukh ata Adonay, Eloheinu, melekh ha’olam, asher kid’shanu b’mitzvotav v’tzivanu al sfirat ha-omer.
Blessed are You, Adonay our God, ruler of the universe, who makes us holy with mitzvot and gives us this opportunity to count the Omer.
Today is day four of the Omer. Hayom yom revyi laOmer.
Today is Netzakh be Khesed, conquest within love, victory within kindness.
The hardest war is the war I wage against myself. I am easily distracted, prone to poor habits, moody, temperamental… Often, I lose. I chose to dawdle instead of staying focused, I indulge inappropriately, I ignore a task I should deal with. All of these and others are ways to lose. It is then that I need to be kind to myself, to accept that I am imperfect. Being kind to myself, accepting myself lets me be kind to other. Is that defeat? If I can accept where I am, that too is a victory, a victory of kindness. In the war I am fighting with myself, it’s the only victory I can have. Sometimes when I am gentle with myself, I actually can take the breath I need, take the time I need, and manage the proper behaviour. This is the conquest, the victory I need.
Today, we find that treating ourselves and others with kindness brings us victory in the war with ourselves.